I used to feel a
prisoner in my own heart.
Toobattered and abused to discern.
I didn’t know what todo, what to say, where to go, how to live.
I had been burned, crushed,broken, smashed, torn, bruised, used and thrown out.
Most of the time I didn’teven love myself.
Acceptance is a rare thing inour world.
Being gentle, sweet,kind, loving, nice, charming, and understanding is nowhere to be found.
My very soul has receded onto a shellof uncertainty.
Hoping, Dreaming,Wishing for a safe haven of comfort and joy.
Not trusting, only manipulating.
How long will mymasks last? How long will this one last? Is there more unseen pain?
More pain? More pressure? More patheticness?
Where is reality? Whereis the truth?
Where are the sunsets on thebeach? The tapping of the rain? The field of flowers? The velvety sand?
Where is the one thatwill never leave me to fray?
I’m at the end of my of my road.
The only thing I meetis emptiness.
The secrets that I was told hasbeen a minefield on my heart.
Torn on how to handleit, I stepped in the danger zone.
Can I disarm it? Find equivalentweight? Will someone take my place?
Sacrifice it all? Can
one love without loving and still feel nothing? Or will my demons send me tothe depths of hell?
Where is my Prince? Or has mysoiled history saturated my title and name?
My would-have-been Savior.What’s his name? Did it start with R? With B? Or T? Guess now I’ll never know.
My thoughts fly fast, yettimelessly fall.
With a picture for amemory. And a star to guide my way.
I can feel their wings to saveme.
But the legal binds cannotbe broken.
My head is filled with deaddreams.
My heart with emptiness.
My eyes with the pale greendullness of insanity.
Andstill I am stuck with my secrets and demons.